A word that i was called "IF"

Do u Know....??

Too much sense and something that may or may not  occur in a word "IF" in my mind
What IF, IF I....???
but it all just a question without an answer, or maybe a question that hasn't found the answer

when i felt the day is too long but sometimes felt too short, hard, sadness, boring and  i think, everyone has a lot of time to think out, but not me...

i just walk away...try to finding a clue...in every single my question
think, silent,  be alone, room, music, movie, books, pray n  always pray....can be a keys
but its too hard...is that alive with emotion

usually think about why they are there. but i called it GREEN does.^__^

Me,
Goresan Hijau